Inspiration, Education, and Nowhere Near Enough Foundation…

While shopping in town today, we saw an elegantly dressed lady entering Zara. She donned dark glasses immediately upon realising that she was being observed, but in truth it was more the wig that was the giveaway that her birth gender might well not have been aptly chosen… Still, we were both moved by her courage in expressing her true self so openly, in a way that I am far from ready to attempt. At the same time, it felt vaguely sad to be mistaken for the “enemy”, as if I was judging her rather than being inspired by her example. So far, I have had little success in locating any transgender support groups in my area (Cardiff city centre), but I must mark that down as a high priority…

Anyway, the mission for today, following that little epiphany, was to quickly gain a crash course in makeup. Though I have used it in the past, I never had any great skill in that field, but now I feel that having the ability to apply it whenever I like and develop creative ways of so doing would be very liberating. It would open possibilities for expressing myself in discreet or overt ways, depending on how brave (or not) I am feeling. If nothing else, I could dare to aim for a slightly androgynous goth look, and see how that fares. Living in a fairly rough part of town is somewhat of a discouragement, but one that I will just have to endure or work around (Again, knowing a local support network would be advantageous, wherever the hell they are…).

“Makeup is magic,” or so my spouse tells me as they take me step-by-step through applying it: foundation, concealer, eye base, kohl, shadow, blush, lipstick etc. I see their point, but at this stage my own magic skills are more along the lines of Paul Daniels than Albus Dumbledore. Even with a close shave, it swiftly becomes apparent that black facial hair does not so much require foundation as plastering… At the end, though, am I mortified at the results? No, I could have imagined a lot worse. Am I fully satisfied? I’d be lying if I said I was, but at least I feel I am moving forwards at last.

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